I don't know if it is winter in general or more specifically the arctic cold temps that we have had for a few days but I have felt like crap lately. I'm moody and just hate it. Little things have just set me off lately. I am trying to focus on the positive to try to draw myself out of this funk.
On Suz's BB, I am sure there are people complaining about my cheerleader attitude this week but so what. I have recieved lots of encouragement from some of those ladies in the past (and still do) but I rarely post back any support. I am hoping that by reading every post and replying back with something positive that I can come away with feeling better too. Don't you feel better when something you say or do makes someone else smile?
I have also been thinking alot about friendships lately... why some friendships work and others fail. I have some friendships that are over 20 years old, a friend from high school that we have fallen to just sending Christmas cards to and three from college (two of those from my first days of dorm life). Two of these live fairly close and yet we see each other only a couple times a year usually at one of our kids birthdays. The third college friend lives 3 hours away but we talk weekly and see each other once sometimes twice a year. Then I have newer friends who I have known less than a year, with a couple having become extremely important to me.
When a friendship ends or goes thru rocky periods how does it affect you? For me... I usually end up blaming myself...going thru lots of self-doubts wondering what it was I did, what could I have done differently. There tend to be lots of tears and emotional upheaval. However, I am coming to the realization that sometimes it isn't just me...sometimes it's the other friend or a combination of the two. But trust once trampled on is very hard to replace...especially with no explanation offered.
I know that I have lots of work to do in being a better friend. I worry too much about saying the wrong thing that lots of times I say nothing and this too may send out a message that I don't care. I don't consider myself a great communicator and really need to work on that... maybe that will help too.
There is a website called 43 Things where they encourage you to list 43 things/goals that you want to do. They can be long term, short term... whatever you want. On my list, two of my items involve friendships. I just need to figure out which ones require work... and which ones are worth putting the effort into...
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4 comments:
Honey you communicate VERY well! And I think we all go thru periods of blahness (is that a word?).
Friends are wonderful things, like precious gems...you know like, rubies and emeralds. And I wanted to thank you for being a gem of a friend!!!!
I find my relationships with my friends change regularly.
Sometimes you see/chat regularly and then go through periods of not "talking".
Use to bother me a lot more when I didn't have the bb to keep me feeling connected to the outside world.
Speaking of friends, Lemon Stand just emailed... Coffee time :)
What a characteristically Carrie way of solving her winter blahs -- reaching out to others ... it's a guaranteed high, isn't it: finding a book for someone who's looking for it!
And Ginger, what's with taking the words right out of my mouth: you communicate just fine! Like hello: check out this fine blog Miz Carrie :)
I'm sorry Carrie that you're having a tough time - sorrier still that anyone would make you question yourself - I'm convinced that friendship & love for some people is all about "self-love". They only do what makes them happy, they don't/can't CARE about others, they USE. Almost always you can call those people "unhappy". It's much better to give - but yeah, when you do, like you do - it can hurt like hell.
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