Conversations in our House lately...

The Jeans -
J to me... "Why would you let your son buy a pair of pants with holes in them?"

Me: "I wasn't the one buying them. It was his money. The holes weren't inappropriately placed."

K1 received a few GC to Kohl's for his birthday. He bought a few t-shirts, a new belt and a pair of jeans. The jeans in question are Levi's 527...

For me the main consideration in not allowing certain clothing, is any part of it indecent. I didn't think these were ... even the holes near the pockets have material under them. When K1 wanted to buy them, I told him that he needed to know and understand that they would NOT be worn to, at or from school. That leaves only after school or weekends. He said he was fine with that. I also told him they may not last as long since they already had holes... they could easily be caught on something else and ripped further... and if any of those tears became inappropriate, they would not be worn at all. HE agreed to all my terms and still wanted to buy them... no matter the cost. The little shit got lucky though and they were on clearance for $14 (why is it the stuff that I want to buy is never on clearance?) So J is miffed that I allowed K1 to buy the pants. I figure that it is a lesson to him on spending his money (which he is normally pretty tight with). To spend... 30, 40 or 50 dollars (or in this case $14) on a pair of jeans that may not last long... I wouldn't do it but he needs to figure that out on his own. If I tell him no, it will only make them more attractive. Was I wrong? Who knows... we'll find out. And if I was... it's not life or death related... we will all survive the JEANS.

Vacation:
It's pretty late to start planning but if we are doing a vacation this year... we really need to decide now. I was toying with the idea of going to Kentucky and Tennessee to do Mammoth Caves and The Smokies but while researching them in a National Parks book, I came across my new hot idea... Acadia National Park in Maine! Out of all the traveling I have done as a kid, I have never been up in the New England states.The kids like the idea too. K2... "Cool! Then I can eat lobster!" I think we will hit Niagra Falls on the way there... and maybe drive down to Boston or Cape Cod. Then on the way home hit Cedar Point in Ohio, the home of my very first roller coaster, The Corkscrew and K1 says there's one he wants me to try with him(something about tallest, fastest, spiral... ). Our travels would take us up thru Detroit over to Canada...which the kids think will be cool. K2... "I've never been to a foreign country before." and K3..."Will they let us cross the border? Don't we need special permission?" There's still alot of pre-planning to do before we start to make any decisions but we need to do it soon.

Picking classes for next year...
K1 had to pick his classes for freshman year in January while K2 just had to pick her electives last week. On their schedules for next year, both are taking Latin and continuing with band (K1 will have Marching band and Pep band for the first time!) Also, joining them next year will be K3 as she will finally be able to join band in 4th grade. Her big decision will be what instrument to play. We already have a French Horn (K1) and an oboe (K2) and it doesn't help that K1, K2 and especially J are all telling K3 what she should do. I think she should choose whichever seems the most interesting to her. It's not like she can't change her mind 1/2 way thru the year or even the next year.

J is working on the taxes, trying to get them mailed out (and it's not like we even have to pay... We are getting a REFUND for cripe's sake! Can you spell P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N???? I am trying to figure out my work situation... I need something daytime... the store will let me move to days but there are things to consider with that... work when the kids are at school but every other weekend? Or no weekends but a 6:00 a.m. start time on the weekdays. Plus, I have been in contact with a fellow BB member about the possibility of going to work for her as an assistant, but I don't want to say more on that until something more happens with it. We haven't talked details yet...just the generalities. But as far as the kids and school, etc. goes... it sounds perfect!

That's about it around here... not a whole lot going on... just another week at our house.

Back at it...

Well, it seems like I have my momentum back again... at least as far as working out is concerned. After a few weeks of mindless drifting and being completely stalled, I then had some good advice from a friend and was able to ease back into it. But it was definitely easing... my attempts were sporadic at best. But now I seem to have renewed vigor and am taking it to the mat...

Starting with Sunday, I have 2 walks in and they were both with J... imagine 6'2" height...thus long leg stride, so I had to work to keep up with him. Then I came home each time and went right into Abs Essentials - Level 1. I will pick some of the BR Essentials back up (especially arms and a cardio or two) but I have decided to do it progressively. Right now I can feel that my legs have been worked but I am not stiff and sore... but my abs... they hurt. All that muscle tone that I had spent months working on... yeah, it was pretty much gone, but I am getting it back. Hell, it even hurts when I sneeze...but I am looking at that as a good thing.

Food consumption has been fairly consistent. I am still trying to make better choices and have stuck to some of my life changing decisions... skim milk, greatly reducing soda intake, wheat vs white (bread, pasta). I eat breakfast everyday... sometimes it is a Slimfast shake with fresh fruit or some peanut butter toast with fruit. And my biggest success has been at work... I am still avoiding the vending machines and am taking lunch from home... turkey sandwich, salad or soup. One area where I seem to have faltered is water intake. It was a real chore to get my water level up to 60-80 ounces a day and I found that if I don't think about it and work at it then I don't do it. So back to THINKING about it! I have another visit to the vampires coming up and I want it to be as easy as the last couple of times... so time for a glass of water!

Sunday:
1 Hour walk
Essen Abs - Level 1

Monday:
1 Hour Walk
Essential Abs - Level 1

Good Things:
Feeling muscles again
The smell of clothes dried on the line
Walking with just the husband

What a Beautiful Weekend!

In the reality of what my friend is facing with losing her great-niece, I was reminded how lucky I am to have healthy, happy children. I tried to focus on that this weekend and just watch and enjoy them.

The weather was perfect... warm 60's yesterday and reaching into the mid 70's today. K2 had a girl scout fitness program yesterday that I didn't have to chaperone. I dropped K1 off at the library to work on his research paper and K3 and I went to my favorite hangout... Barnes and Noble. I bought her a new book, Amelia's 6th Grade Notebook, her new favorite series (at least this week) and a cool bookmark that helps her keep track of her reading minutes. Then we went down to the cafe to have lunch... I can't resist those Turkey, Cheese, Chipotle Panini sandwiches! K3 had a frapuccino and I had iced tea. Then it was time to pick up K1 at the library and take him for a haircut. My preference short!... his preference long (basically take it back up out of his eyes). So I thought to myself... how horrible is it really for his hair to be longer? Is this really worth fighting over? Nah... there will be other fights that I will need to enforce my will... this really doesn't have to be one of them. So when he sat in the chair and she asked how "we" wanted it cut... I told her, "It's his hair.. ask him." The final result... it's not horrible... I really do prefer it short but my little boy is growing up... have to let him "win" some.

Today was even more glorious than the yesterday. Yesterday the kids did manage to find some time to play outside. This morning K1 said to me, "I discovered playing outside." When I asked him what he meant, he said how good it felt to be outside playing and goofing around with his sisters. So after a late breakfast, they were back at it.... climbing trees, playing mini-tennis on the driveway, riding scooters and running like loons throughout the (1 acre) yard. And when K1 and J ran to do errands, I was even invited to play tennis with K2. Normally, I would have declined using dishes or something as an excuse, but not today... today I rejoiced in being able to play with my kids.

In honor of the great weather, we did steaks on the grill and enjoyed a great dinner. Then afterward, despite it being dark, J and I went for a walk. The temps were still in the 70's at 8:00p.m.!! Now my kids are all settled for the night, I Revvved (finally!), showered and am sitting back with a mug of green tea. I am lucky and completely blessed... I have my health... 3 fantastic children... a husband who completely loves me... really... what more do I need?

Well, maybe a piece of chocolate... :)

LIFE... it's a Good Thing!

Losing a Child...

This year I have been to two movies in which a child in each of them dies. The first was The Bridge to Terrabithia. In that one, the young girl, Leslie, dies in a drowning accident. The second one was The Ultimate Gift where a young girl dies from leukemia. I am known to cry easily at sad movies but these hit me harder than any other. I just cannot even imagine losing a child. My mom did... she lost a daughter at only 9 months old. My sister who lived 3 years before I was born. The strange thing is that I never knew about her until I was 8 or 9 years old. That just blows my mind. Once she was buried, it was as though she never existed. My mom says she remembered her in her heart but I find that hard to believe. I grieve so differently from her.

Today I heard that a dear friend of mine is having to deal with the loss of a sweet child. Her great niece has become an angel at only 2 years old. My heart goes out to the my friend and the baby's parents, grandparents and other family. I cannot imagine what this must feel like and I hope I never have to find out. So even though I didn't know this little girl or her family (except for her great aunt) I find my heart breaking tonight that there is a mom out there who is crying over the loss of her little angel.

I found this poem online and thought it appropriate.

Tiny Angel

Tiny Angel rest your wings
sit with me for awhile.
How I long to hold your hand,
And see your tender smile.
Tiny Angel, look at me,
I want this image clear....
That I will forget your precious face
Is my biggest fear.
Tiny Angel can you tell me,
Why you have gone away?
You weren't here for very long....
Why is it, you couldn't stay?
Tiny Angel shook her head,
"These things I do not know....
But I do know that you love me,
And that I love you so".

Author Unknown

C, I am thinking of you and keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!

Middle School Talent Night

Tonight was the talent show at our middle school. K2 decided to enter with a group of her friends. They performed a traditional Indian (as in India) dance that signifies friends collecting vegetables from the garden. They did really well despite one of the girls dropping out last night because of a swim meet she had tonight (ummm, didn't she realize this sooner?) and a slight operator malfunction with the stage curtain. But they did really really well! I tried to take a picture but it was too dark and my camera basically sucks. I am hoping that the mom of K2's friend will forward some of her pics to me.

My Weekend...

I love getting away by myself. I usually come back on Sunday night completely relaxed... recharged and refreshed. Which I did this time too, but also very tired! It's taken me a day to recoup!
The Lodge we go to is owned and operated by a group that also has about 12 cabins, a larger camp building (to house 40 people) and a campground. During the summer, it is mostly rented by summer camp type groups. Our lodge fits at most 14-16 people, although there are beds for more. It is nice with a open kitchen, dining, living room area... although we completely take that over with our tables set up for scrapbooking. The plus is the great fireplace in the corner of the living room which we keep going all weekend long. The grounds it sits on is great for long walks thru the woods however, we purposely plan our trips for colder weather. Most of us want to get pages done and found that when we went during the nicer weather we didn't get quite as much done.



We had 13 ladies participate in our weekend and one (my SIL enjoying Europe) was missing. We have never had 14 and honestly, that is quite enough! We definitely need to put a halt on any more newbies being added to the mix. All involved know a college friend of mine, whether it be from college, school, church or work... LH is the common link. Most of the ladies are scrappers with a few others doing other crafty type things. It is supposed to be a time for us to get away from our kids and husbands... the cooking and the cleaning... the yells of "Mom!"... It is supposed to be a time of relaxation, a time to work on hobbies, a little bit of ME time.

My weekend started off weird. I wasn't prepped like I normally am and just felt disorganized and unfocused when I arrived. It also didn't help that I had been awake for 36 hours from noon on Wednesday til midnight Thursday and then slept only 5 hours that night. On Friday night, after completing one page, a couple of glasses of wine and a little bit of conversation, I was ready for bed before midnight... a first for me! But I got some much needed sleep and felt like I could tackle my craft. Not so. I still struggled for awhile... The creative juices weren't flowing... I just felt stuck. Someone popped in a Sarah McLachlan cd which was a first... usually we spend our time talking and loud music tends to get in the way of that then there are the variety of tastes to compete with. Traditionally people who want music bring a mp3 player for their own use. I don't know what it was but the cd was grating on my nerves. I only knew one song and the rest was like nails on a chalkboard. I finally pulled out my mp3 and tuned out. That worked for about 15 minutes til the battery died. Then when I tried to recharge the battery (via a laptop) it wouldn't work... nothing, nada, zip! I really started to get frustrated at this point... it was back to the cd. During the next hour, my SIL sitting at the same table with me, kept saying how the music was driving her crazy and would I please ask them to turn it off. WTF??? Why does it have to be me? Isn't she an adult that could open her mouth to ask? Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and had to say something before I blew... so I asked the one who put it on if we could turn it off. She readily agreed. The crazy thing... I had 5 people besides my SIL who all thanked me for asking for it to be turned off. If that many people hated it, why didn't someone ask before me? This is not a quiet, shy bunch... yet no one opened their mouth. Finally after the whole music fiasco, I finally was able to settle in and start turning out some pages. I ended up staying awake until 5:15 a.m. working on my stuff. All but two others had long gone to bed.

As far as the scrapbooking goes, it was a fairly productive weekend. I got 21 pages done (minus the journaling) and have FINALLY completed my Florida vacation album from 3.5 years ago! I just need to finish some journaling and get it all put into an album. But damn, after working on it for 3 years, it feels good to be looking at the end of it.

The other thing, besides the music, that irritated me was the topics of conversation. Normally, we laugh, we joke, we tell stories about our kids and husbands and sometimes we get into serious topics of conversation... but normally we stay away from taboo topics. A couple were brought up this weekend and almost erupted into something more. For example, I don't remember how but abortion was mentioned. How much more taboo can you get? You had some that were on the pro-choice side and others who were on the pro-life side. I tried to stay out of it... it is a highly emotional topic and most people have strong opinions. However, when two of the pro-lifers made comments, one lady(DP) just said "I am not saying anything." Well, it was like throwing blood into the water and seeing the sharks circling. LH is in front of her saying..."What? You can say what you want. It's okay. You can voice your opinion... I think its wrong but you can voice it." Then you have KW behind her trying to get her to enter into the discussion all the time loudly voicing her opinion, "I want someone to tell me at what minute, at what second does it become a baby? When?" Poor DP just kept scrappin away, desperately trying to keep her mouth shut but turning bright red from the effort (which was even pointed out by LH). What was the point of this? Did we really need to get into it? There was no where for this conversation to go... all parties had their opinions, some highly emotional about it and honestly, it was a no win situation. It had the potential of ruining the whole weekend. I think DP did the right thing by staying out of it but it never should have came to that... with the other two ganging up on her (one in her face on the front, one at her back). I wish the topics could be discussed on a healthy less emotional table, it would really be interesting to hear others viewpoints. BUT when you are told right off the bat that your opinion is wrong, you know that the discussion isn't going to go that way.

It is usually at these weekends that I feel the need to make comments of shock value mostly to irritate, gross out my SIL... call me mean, but I so enjoy getting a rise out of her especially since she makes a whole production out of it (putting fingers in her ears and singing "la la la, I'm not listening"). My favorite moment came on Sunday. My SIL is my husband's sister and she doesn't want to know that her brother actually has sex (despite the fact that we have 3 children). So this is the area where I usually try to ruffle her feathers. On Sunday, I asked LJ if her husband was French Canadian (which I knew, but I just needed a lead-in)... When she said yes, I replied that my husband was Australian. Both SIL and LH, looked up and said, "He is NOT!." I then said "Well, he should be since he goes 'down under" so well." *snickers* Mission accomplished... it got laughs, groans and huge "Ewww" from my SIL. Now I will have to start thinking of one for next year. :)

A Little Bit of Me Time...

Finally! It is here... my weekend in the Northwoods! Temps in the 30's... flurries of snow in the forecast... and you are probably wondering, "Huh? She is looking forward to this?" Well, yeah! Every year a group of ladies (all known to a college friend of mine) get together to craft. Most of us scrap but some are sewing and knitting. It doesn't matter what we do... it is just a weekend to run away from home.

I am so completely unprepared for this weekend. Normally, I have page kits all set to go so I just grab a Ziploc and start scrappin'. Not so this year. But I have decided it doesn't matter... even if I don't get a single page done, I need to time, the peace and quiet and the SLEEP!

So off to finish packing and then I am hitting the road!

I Love my Starbucks!

There are 3 different Starbucks that I frequent not to mention the 2 B&N stores that sell Starbucks products. However, the one that is the closest to my place of work is by far my favorite! They have great seating plus a nice little fireplace that is cozy during the winter. However, the biggest reason they are my favorite is they also have the nicest staff working there. Not only am I greeted but they talk to me, ask me how my day is... comment on either my jewelry or something else. They are just very personable. Plus, they give me free stuff!

A couple of months ago, I was stuck behind a woman trying to buy 15 gift cards for $10 each but purchasing them with other gift cards. The cashier ran into a problem because apparently you can't use more than a certain number of gift cards to make a purchase. To make a long story short, it took a loooong time for them to work out the problem and "cheat" the system. I wasn't in a big hurry that day and waited my turn. When I finally got to place my order, I was offered a coupon for a free beverage of my choice on my next visit. And when I used it, I actually had a 3 drink order, 2 talls and 1 venti... they gave me the venti free instead of one of the talls.

Now fast forward to last week... I stopped in before taking some GS cookies into work to distribute. I had quite a bit of singles, 5's and 10's on hand so I could make change if need be for the people paying for cookies. The manager noticed my money and asked if she could buy 2 tens from me. Sure, no problem... I still had the ones and fives for making change. When I picked up my drink, she gave me yet another free drink coupon for "helping" them out. WTH? All I did was give her 2 tens for a twenty... no biggie. But heck yeah, I took the coupon! :)

Then this morning, the cold weather had returned. So as I left work at 5 a.m. I stopped in at Starbucks for a Venti Non-fat, SF Vanilla, Chai Latte and the manager started talking to me and then offered me a "broken" donut. She said it was fresh, she just couldn't sell it. Well, okay... I just started exercising again... and not very much either, but of course, I took it. Come on... it was free! You never get anything free anymore! And it didn't hurt that I had just gotten off work... let me tell ya... that donut was gone by the time I hit the second traffic light.

Starbucks... for me... its a Good Thing!

Books...Kids... and How Much is too Much...

A few weeks ago during a library visit, K2 brought a book to me that she was interested in but "it says its for 14 and up, mom." It looked interesting enough that I told her I would read it and let her know if it was appropriate for her. I figured it was the least I could do since she actually read the age recommendation and brought it to my attention.

The book was Valiant by Holly Black. It tells the story of a 17 year old girl who runs away to NYC after discovering a horrible secret. In NYC, she meets up with some kids who are living in abandoned subway tunnels. It isn't long before Val realizes that there is more going on here than she first thought possible and is introduced to the magical beings living in exile among the humans. It is a really good book with interesting plot lines on old story ideas. However, I ran into problems with whether or not I would let K2 read it.

First, and actually of least concern is the language. The "F" word is used quite a bit throughout the book. Unfortunately, K2 has a mom who has used the word quite frequently so it is not a word that is unknown to her. But on the positive side, K2 really dislikes swear words and does not use them and frowns upon her mom and her older brother when they use any variety of cuss words from the mild to the extreme. So based on this knowledge, I disregarded that as a reason for not letting her read the book.

More importantly though are the sexual themes mentioned in the book. In the first few pages of the book, Val is thinking about her boyfriend and how she can barely get him to kiss her let alone have sex anymore. Then Val arrives home unexpectedly to discover her mother being undressed by her (Val's) boyfriend. There is no nudity however, the mother's blouse is unbuttoned and he is touching her bra. Then later on in the book, two of the characters are mentioned as having sex frequently and in fact, Val and one of the tunnel rats she hooks up with have sex after they "magically" alter their appearance to look like other people. (Val imagines the boy as someone she likes and the boy imagines Val as someone he wants.) This was the one scene that I found most disturbing... not because of the way it is described but just the fact that each has "changed" the other one to reflect someone else. So, in essence, in their minds they are having sex with someone else completely. It is just the way that they use each other that I found disturbing and wondering if a pre-teen/adolescent could actually understand and see how this is so wrong.

My first reaction was no way... nope, K2 was not reading this book. Maybe in two years but not know (she is almost 12). But then I slowly stopped and thought about it. None of what is mentioned is graphic or detailed very much. I don't want my kids growing up with no idea of sex, good or bad... I don't want to treat it as if it doesn't exist. I have a brother and sister-in-law who wouldn't even kiss in front of their daughter because they didn't want her to know about sex in any way so she wouldn't get ideas. To me, this is absolutely ludicrous. But I also don't want K2 to think that I condone the behavior in the book. So I told her she could read it but that she had to keep in mind that first, this was a work of fiction. Second, that the kids in this book are 17 and older and most have been living on the streets for quite awhile. And third, that we would talk about the book as she read it and if she has any questions about it whatsoever, I want her to ask me. So I don't know if I made the right decision... parenting... we learn by trial and error.

One other note... I was reading Harlequinn romances by 7th grade and had quickly moved into the "red" Silhouette Desires (the raciest of the Harlequinn line at that time). I was reading so much more intimate stuff and I turned out okay (alright, I can hear some of you laughing out there!) BUT looking back I realize that I missed so many great books when I was younger... maybe that is why I don't mind reading children and young adult books now.

So it's been awhile...

I really don't know what happened but I haven't been around for awhile. My food/mood logging went straight into the toilet along with my Revving. I think it was a combination of things that just made me hit the wall. The frustration of working so hard but being stuck at 30 lbs for so long. There are those that tell me I should be happy with the 3o that I have lost but when you feel like you are putting in the effort and not getting any visible gains (or in this case losses), it is so frustrating!

Then there is also what J says is the biggest factor... the weather. Winter started off so nice this year. Mild temperatures thru December and most of January. Then we got hit with the BIG CHILL and subzero temps. And then came the snow... it seemed like we couldn't go more than a few days without having to pull out the shovels. Now we are halfway into March and finally... FINALLY... can I hear an AMEN? ... getting some decent warm temps. Today it is supposed to hit the mid 60's. I just love seeing the sun... it feels like it has been too long!

So last week I missed my first Rev Report in quite awhile. Boy! Did I hear about it!! People that I didn't know would even care, emailed me to ask if I was okay and that my posts were missed. Well, let me just say that was quite an eye opener. I have to admit that I do my posts strictly for myself. Someone has commented on how honest they are...but what's the point in lying about what exercising you are doing? It's not gonna help me in the long run and the worst case scenario... meeting at a Suz event and still looking the same if not heavier. So nope... no lying for me on my posts. But having said that, I really don't think that anyone cares what I have to say and in fact, I sometimes wonder if people are complaining about having to hear another story about my kids or telling me to quit whining/bragging/etc. But judging from some of the emails I got this week, I was flabbergasted to think that there are those who actually enjoy reading my posts. And just the fact that they took the time to send me an email asking me if I was okay and if I needed help in any way, really just made me feel good.

So... the sun is shining, friends are cheering me on... there should be no problem with starting back up, right? However, I still seemed stalled. But a friend gave me some great suggestions... first, I needed to get myself outside in these mild temps and sunshine, and get myself walking... simple enough, right? Just go outside and get a walk in. Then it was suggested that since I enjoyed the Abs portion so much (I have often described it as my Yoga), that I should focus on just that for a bit. Don't worry about legs... don't worry about the cardio... Just do the abs and try to relax and enjoy it again. But since I own the Essentials Abs DVD and haven't used it yet, I should switch to that hoping to alleviate some of the boredom that may have set in from doing the Essentials DVD over and over and over.

I am hoping that I am back on track... I am definitely not moving at full steam yet. BUT I have done 3 walks since Saturday and have done Essential Abs once... will try it again today. I am not sure if I am going back to the food/mood logging... even when I was faltering on the exercising, my food intake seemed to stay fairly consistent with what I had been doing. The only difference right now is that we have girl scout cookies in the house!!! I may do posts about eating in on occasion but I don't think I am going to keep up with the logging part of it. Right now with my fluctuating schedule, I don't always eat at normal times. And one day may be a shortened day while the next is a 24 hour day. Plus, with being tired from my schedule it is hard to find the food/mood connection. However, I may be moving to a daytime job and if that happens I may consider giving the logging another try. The one thing from the logging that I would like to keep up is the Good Things portion... not sure how I will do it though.

So thanks to those of you who checked in on me... it was greatly appreciated. I am lucky to have friends that I "talk" to everyday but hearing from those of you who I didn't know I had a connection with...just really helped bring me out of my funk. So... thank you!