It has now been one year since I made the move to try to improve my health and weight. And while I had some success, I found myself reflecting back on my summer and its failures. While my summer was busy, hectic and yes, lots of fun (I can't forget that) it was also a step back on my road to fitness. I did good up until the beginning of July. Then it all seemed to fall apart from that point. I basically stopped exercising (my new bike sat in the garage unused). While I didn't resort back to my old eating habits, I wasn't as good as I should've been. I started drinking regular soda at restaurants. I was visiting Starbucks everyday which in itself isn't horrible except that along with my iced tea I was also getting bakery to go with it. Do you know how many calories are in a lemon bar? 440!! With 22g of fat!! I can't even admit to how many of those I ate in the month of July. So the fact that I put 10 lbs on this summer should really be no surprise. Actually it's surprising that I didn't put more back on.
However, another factor that I never really thought about until I was reading the Gator Patrol posts yesterday was the loss of computer time that I dealt with. You might think that spending less time on the computer might be a good thing, right? Less time sitting on your backside. BUT by not being on the computer I lost the support and encouragement of so many people. I was no longer posting on Gator Patrols (did they still do them this summer?) By being on the BB, I no longer had access to Alden's Fire Up speeches. I was no longer posting on the Revving for Life SparkTeam (which I am team leader of, I might add!) All of these things help in so many ways but I never realized their true impact.
I have tried (half-hearted) for so many years to lose weight --- really, it was more like talking about losing weight. It wasn't until I bought my bodyrev that I actually thought maybe this time I would do it. Then so many people on the BB had one and were using it (or saying they were using it). I was so terrified at first to even try it. What if I post that I am using it, going all out and then like everything else I tried, gave up and quit. How embarrassing would that be? So it was easier to NOT use it. But I had friends (bookpimp) who knew I owned it and would send me emails asking how it was going... or would get Mr. Bodyrev himself to do a shout out on the BB ("Congrats to Carrie for winning a Bodyrev at the silent auction in Atlanta.") This was even more embarrassing. People knew I had one and hadn't even tried it. So I bit the bullet and pulled it out of the box. Yep, it sat in the box for 2 months after I brought it home -- 2 months!
After I started using my BR, I had some other insecurity issues to overcome... mainly my embarrassment of exercising in front of my family. But they were the most supportive especially my girls (I think J was still waiting for me to quit like I had everything else). But the girls would comment on the changes (I can get my arms all the way around you for a hug.) or would ask me flat out... "Aren't you going to Bodyrev today? (That was K3, aka the Drill Sargent). And then the kicker... "I am so proud of you mama." My family was and has continued to be supportive.
But it was that other family... that family that I met on the BB that consisted of other bodyrevvers and fitness seekers. Every week, someone either Alden or one of the ladies would post a Fire Up or How are you Doin'? And people would post... successes, failures, strengths and weaknesses. If you had an awful crappy week, there were people in the same boat who encouraged you. If you had an awesome week, there were others there to cheer you on. No matter what the situation, support was there.
By spring the gator patrols were becoming less.... I mean after all this was an author's message board... did it bother others to have to read these posts. I don't know. But by this time I had found Sparkpeople. I was slowly getting into it... logging my food, my exercise, posting on message boards, joining Sparkteams. It was then that I decided to start a Bodyrev team on there to maybe lessen some of the posts from the BB. A few people joined and came over. And for awhile we were doing the same thing there that we did at the BB.... weekly encouragements... support... cheerleading.
But then I went AWOL from the computer (trying to fight 3 kids for the computer wasn't much fun and I gave in). It didn't seem to matter at the time... I was busy doing other things. But when I stopped logging my food, I stopped watching so closely what I was eating. When I stopped visiting SP and the BB and I stopped reading those weekly support sessions, it was too easy to give up on exercise. I didn't have to think about it... there was no one to remind me about it.
For awhile I was calling this summer a waste - hello, 10 lbs?!? After losing a total of 35 lbs? That was more than two steps back. But after reading a post on the Revving for Life team, I realized just how much that lack of support... those weekly check-ins... those people saying "I need some help."... had an effect on me. I could probably do this alone if I absolutely had to. But it would be so hard and seriously, in all honesty, I don't know that I would succeed. But with the support and encouragement of others who are going thru the exact same thing that you are... are having the same good days, bad days (weeks?)... it is so much easier. Just the fact that you are not alone has the power to help carry you along.
So know this... to those who during this past year who have offered support, encouragement, cheers... I thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart. I hope you know how much it has all meant to me... I realize that now even more. And to those of you who need help, who want to join me on this road to better health and feeling fit, know that I will be here for you. Just give a shout and I will be there.
We can do this together.
