Winter Blahs...

I don't know if it is winter in general or more specifically the arctic cold temps that we have had for a few days but I have felt like crap lately. I'm moody and just hate it. Little things have just set me off lately. I am trying to focus on the positive to try to draw myself out of this funk.

On Suz's BB, I am sure there are people complaining about my cheerleader attitude this week but so what. I have recieved lots of encouragement from some of those ladies in the past (and still do) but I rarely post back any support. I am hoping that by reading every post and replying back with something positive that I can come away with feeling better too. Don't you feel better when something you say or do makes someone else smile?

I have also been thinking alot about friendships lately... why some friendships work and others fail. I have some friendships that are over 20 years old, a friend from high school that we have fallen to just sending Christmas cards to and three from college (two of those from my first days of dorm life). Two of these live fairly close and yet we see each other only a couple times a year usually at one of our kids birthdays. The third college friend lives 3 hours away but we talk weekly and see each other once sometimes twice a year. Then I have newer friends who I have known less than a year, with a couple having become extremely important to me.

When a friendship ends or goes thru rocky periods how does it affect you? For me... I usually end up blaming myself...going thru lots of self-doubts wondering what it was I did, what could I have done differently. There tend to be lots of tears and emotional upheaval. However, I am coming to the realization that sometimes it isn't just me...sometimes it's the other friend or a combination of the two. But trust once trampled on is very hard to replace...especially with no explanation offered.

I know that I have lots of work to do in being a better friend. I worry too much about saying the wrong thing that lots of times I say nothing and this too may send out a message that I don't care. I don't consider myself a great communicator and really need to work on that... maybe that will help too.

There is a website called 43 Things where they encourage you to list 43 things/goals that you want to do. They can be long term, short term... whatever you want. On my list, two of my items involve friendships. I just need to figure out which ones require work... and which ones are worth putting the effort into...