Well, I had my interview today for the library position... I thought it was just a position of recieving the books and shelving them... Ahhh, no. It is circulation desk, assisting at the reference desk, aiding the Technical support staff with searching the internet for interlibrary loans, handling new items to the library... also, taking care of Holds and transfers within the county library system. When I walked into the room, I felt like I was facing the Inquisition... I was interviewing before 3 people... the heads of Circulation, Technical Support and Reference. It didn't help that they put me at the head of the conference table.
I should've had more sleep last night... I don't think I did really well... although the elder gentleman from Tech seemed to like me and my answers... the other two ladies were harder to read. I don't feel like I interview well.... for me it is more conversational. I tend to talk and talk and then wonder if I even answered the frickin' question. I explained and re-told most of my answers to J tonight... he said it sounded like I did great but then again, he's just a tad biased (although the man is generally brutally honest... I learned a long time ago not to ask how I look in something if I don't want to hear the absolute truth).
So here's my dilemma... I have two possible job choices on the table. One sounds like a done deal, I just need to let her know by mid-week if I want the job or not. The other is not even done interviewing until next Friday, and then will either be making phone calls or mailing letters out the following week. So I really need to come to a decision about which of these I want, even though the library postion hasn't been offered.
The Office Administrator:
Pros... part-time, great flexibility, room for upward mobility, I like the boss.
Cons... have to buy a new wardrobe (definitely a very professional setting), the pay (same as what I am making currently).
Library:
Pros... the PAY, the benefits (full health and dental), vacation after probationary time, I LOVE books and the library and would love to be there...
Cons... the hours... 40 hours, set schedule ( I would have to leave the kids alone this summer from 8:30 to 5:00 2, 3, and 4 days a week on a 3 week rotating basis)... no vacation this year... no girl scouts next year (wait, maybe that should be in the pro area)...
IF the library job wasn't on the table, I would have already turned in my 2 weeks notice. I sat and talked with J and the girls tonight (K1 was at a dance and sleepover)... I think the general consensus is that although the pay and benefits would be great with the library, that it might be a shock to everyone involved. I am worried about my girls getting along when I am here... my gawd! they would be alone with their instigator, big brother, anywhere from 16 hours to 32 hours a week! I think there would be bloodshed. Plus, not only the canceled vacation but there is also the matter of completely altered summer for the kids. K1 would not be allowed to go to his friend's house when I am not home... he would be needed with his sisters. None of the kids would be allowed to go for bike rides like they are used to... they would basically be on lockdown. Can I really do this to my kids?
When I met to discuss the office assistant job, one of the things that I stressed to her was that I LOVE being a mom... and even if I wait til Kendra is 18 to go back to work full time (which I seriously doubt that I would), that would put me at 47... still plenty of time to put 20+ years in of full time. I have my kids for such a short time... do I really want to give up what I have with them for money??? And J asked why I couldn't reapply for the position at some other time down the road... with them or with another library... there are quite a few in our area.
So I guess I know where my heart is on this... I guess the hardest thing is that I have choices... well, kinda, sorta since the library job hasn't been offered yet. I am not used to having choices and I almost wanted to curl up and have someone tell me what to do. J tried to play it safe... and not tell me what to do but in talking it out is how I came to alot of the realizations. It is so nice not to be alone.
So I will give it some more thought but I have a feeling that I will be making a phone call on Monday or Tuesday. Then I am going to need some fashion advice... I may have to take this to the BB and Quiche... I think she is the resident expert when it comes to fashion.
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There have been a few jobs advertised lately that I'd love to apply for. But when you add in... bus... summers... loss of funding.. yet a benefit pkg would be nice... The very idea of trying to find adequate reliable care makes me cringe.....
Sometimes, we do what we need to do instead of maybe what we'd like to do. And as long as money isn't a necessary (b/c sometimes you simply have to work to pay the bills) issue in our decision making.. J's right, there will be other jobs and maybe something that suits you more.
S.
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