The Downside to Exercising...

LESS TIME FOR READING!!!

Wahhh... I have barely read in the last week! I finished my last book on April 17 and just started a new one today. Well, I tried starting it on Saturday but read about 2 pages and passed out asleep on top of the book. I was going to start The Sunday List of Dreams... one of the community boards that I joined on SparkPeople is a bookclub and that was their choice for April. As I already had the book sitting here at home, I thought now would be a good time to read it. HA! Fates are playing a trick on me. The damn book sat in one spot for months!!! Then I pull it out to read it and the freakin' thing disappears!!! I kid you not! Gone... vanished!

So I decided to go with a series that has been a favorite of mine recently... Sookie Stackhouse. I am reading Dead as a Doornail. The only problem is that after my dismal attempt to start it on Saturday night, I have had no time to read at all!!! So today I was determined to MAKE time. I went to the mall for a haircut and afterwards went to B&N for lunch and some much needed reading time. It felt so good just to sit there with a book in my hands and lose myself in someone else's world. Gawd, I have missed that.

Then after coming home... I was almost feeling down that I hadn't gotten a bike ride in today. It was 70 degrees when I left for the mall and by the time I came home it was in the 50's, gray and drizzly. What I wanted to make for dinner was missing one ingredient... I was going to drive to the grocery store and then after a quick check outside decided to bike there. The girls even came with me. On the way there it was fine... but on the way home it started to drizzle. But the funny thing was... it felt great! Even the girls had fun... we were riding our bikes in the rain. People probably thought we were nuts! But, you know what... I still managed to get in a 30 minute bike ride today! Woo Hoo!

So now I am off to bed... with my book... and lets hope this time, I make it past two pages.

Good things:
1. A fresh new haircut (that I actually like!)
2. Quiet reading time at B&N
3. Riding in the rain

Today was better...

With respect to the girls... at least bedtime was smoother. However, we were shopping at Target and I swear the two of them just have to nitpick at each other... K2 has to hang onto the cart that K3 is pushing... then will walk faster or slower. Then if K2 said anything to her sister, K3 would respond and respond and respond. My mantra became "Just let it go. Just let it go." Ahh well, I need to appreciate the good times more and not take them for granted.

Good news... the library called me. I had filled out an application back in November for a library technician job. I never even made it to interview stage... talk about depressing!! Anyway, today I got a call from the library... nothing new there as they call me just about every other day letting me know that I book I have on hold came in. However, this time as I was listening to the machine, the woman says "hi, this is Sue from the *** library..." And I am thinking, "Huh, that's new... they never introduce themselves when they call about a hold." The woman then goes on to say that they are currently interviewing this week and next for a job posting and they had my application on file... was I still interested. Well, yeah... I really don't want to start a full time job right before summer but if I am offered it I will have to think about making it work. The library pays pretty well... Well, better than what I get now, that's for sure! However, it sounds like they are interviewing lots of people for this job so I am not getting my hopes up... if it works out great... if not, that might not be such a bad thing. Anyway, I am interviewing on Friday morning and I hate interviews... I never feel like I interview well. We'll see...

I did well on the exercise front today... another 30 minute bike ride with the girls (that makes 4 bike rides in a row!), then I did BR legs and abs today (did BR abs and arms yesterday.) I also took my measurements AGAIN today... although I have no idea how I compare to January. I lost the paper I wrote them down on and I thought I entered them on the computer but if I did I can't find where... so today I start fresh with the measurements. Still it would've been nice to see how I did... then again... maybe not... considering how lackluster my exercise performance was this winter. :)

I finished The Raven Prince today... awesome book!!! It was so unlike what I grew to hate about historicals... this one actually deserved a scorching rating... it was HOT! My biggest problem reading too many historicals is how everyone is so prim and proper and there is not a lot of nautiness... yes, I know I LOVE P&P but I still don't want a steady diet of it. Give me something HOT and I usually found that historicals didn't cut it. Also, I love that this one, neither the hero nor the heroine is perfect. He has pox scars and she is plain. Gawd save me from the "perfect people". This was a great read! I may have to run to B&N tomorrow to find the next in the series... although from what I read it may not be quite as good but that's okay... just so it's not a dud.

I should go to bed... 5 a.m. comes way too soon... but before I go... my 3 good things:
1. Reading a GOOD book.
2. News about the job interview.
3. My boss telling me I did an awesome job last night (I did, and deserved her noticing.)

Arrrghhhh....

Someone...please anyone!!! Please tell me that someday my girls will be friends and actually like each other. They have days...well, maybe not days but definitely periods of time when they actually get along and can play well together. But then there are times like right now... K2 is down in the basement pissed off angry because her sister always gets things her way...

They were playing outside together after school very nicely... they had their bikes out and were zipping around the driveway. In the past we didn't always remember to close the garage door and there were times that I would come home from work at 5 a.m. and see it sitting wide open. Well, now that I have a nice bike in there, I have stressed the importance of closing the door when we are done with it. We live in a nice area but still... crime happens everywhere these days. So while I am doing BR arms, it dawns on me to ask the girls if they closed the garage door when they came in. OMIGAWD! It was as if I had accused someone of some atrocious act! Right away, K2 says that she wanted to but K3 wouldn't let her. K3, of course, has to deny this. Meanwhile, I am trying to finish arms...trying to relax before going into work (which if I don't wrap this up soon, I will be late!)... and listening to the two of them bicker about why the door didn't get closed. I finally lost it and told them to go check and see if it was closed. J gets involved at this point and tells the two of them to go outside, "Yes, in your pajamas."... to check the door. It doesn't matter who was last in... they both are supposed to go and check. Well, K2 is outraged at the injustice of it all... she didn't do anything... it was all her sister's fault... K3 is ruining her life!

She is now back upstairs in her room, telling her sister that she hates her because she ruins her life...

Do you think there is hope for these two? Will they ever be friends and appreciate what they have in each other? I am 11 years younger than my sister. By the time, I was old enough to appreciate having a sister, she was moved out and gone. I never felt close to my sister mainly because of the age difference. I would've loved to have a sister to confide in.. to teach me things. But I didn't... I look at these two and think how lucky they are and they don't even know it.

Ugh... I just want them to like each other... is there hope?

Okay... strange to do it here... and it is rather difficult tonight but here are my 3 Good things... I think I need to remind myself of them now more than ever...
1. A nice big hug from J
2. Fairly easy night at work last night
3. Lily, the guinea pig, greeting me when I sit at the computer.

Middle School Talent Night

Tonight was the talent show at our middle school. K2 decided to enter with a group of her friends. They performed a traditional Indian (as in India) dance that signifies friends collecting vegetables from the garden. They did really well despite one of the girls dropping out last night because of a swim meet she had tonight (ummm, didn't she realize this sooner?) and a slight operator malfunction with the stage curtain. But they did really really well! I tried to take a picture but it was too dark and my camera basically sucks. I am hoping that the mom of K2's friend will forward some of her pics to me.

My Little Girl

On the topic of songs and soundtracks for a life, this song is one that I have heard on the radio for awhile but it wasn't until I saw the movie Flicka that I knew that this Tim McGraw song was meant for K3. Sure, it’s a song that could pertain to both of my girls but I’ll tell you why it fits perfect for her. First, read the words…

Gotta hold on easy as I let you go.
Gonna tell you how much I love you, though you think you already know.
I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm.
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born.

Beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.

When you were in trouble that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone.
Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown.
Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I Love You!" in the moonlight at your door.
As I walk away, I hear you say, "Daddy Love You More!”

Beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.

Someday, some boy will come and ask me for your hand.
But I won't say, "yes" to him unless I know, he's the half
That makes you whole; he has a poet's soul, and the heart of a man's man.
I know he'll say that he's in love.
But between you and me. He won't be good enough!

In the movie, Flicka, Katy and her dad were so much alike yet butt heads continuously. This is exactly like K3 and her dad. While K1 will just shut down and K2 will usually end up crying when their dad yells at them, K3 will fight back. She will be in his face (just like he is in hers) telling him right back why she’s not wrong but he is. She can list the reasons why she is right. (Hmmm… maybe I hear future lawyer here.) Oh, the fights they can have! They don’t happen often, but when they do…look out! I dread the clashes headed our way as she heads into her teenage years (and those are still 5 years off!).

Then there’s the line in the song about the little girl saying, “Love you more”. For years, when I have tucked K3 into bed at night, she has always said, “I love you most.” I can count on this. It used to drive her sister nuts but I know what K3 is saying and it isn’t that she loves me more than her brother or sister, but that she loves me the most that she can. And just that simple phrase, makes me smile deep whenever I hear it.

I think there’s a special bond that develops between a parent and the youngest. Now this doesn’t mean that I love any of my children more than the others but this bond is there all the same. There would be no more babies to hold after the last… no more little first discoveries. And whether or not you know that your baby is truly your last at the time it is happening, at some point you come to realize that this is indeed your last child and there will be no more. And whether by choice or not, it still is just a little heartbreaking to realize this is it. With the older kids, it is fascinating to watch them grow and explore and it is with the youngest as well. It’s just that while you’re excited for them at the same time you’re thinking this is it, this is the last time we will do this.

I can’t wait to watch and see the person that K3 develops into. I just hope that she discovers who she is and what it is that makes her happy and then sets the course for going after her dreams. But no matter where her life takes her, whether it is across the street or across the country, she is stuck being our baby. And she always will be… my little girl.